How to get your lady to enjoy the 4WD?

Adventure NZ

Buy her some proper gumboots, show her how the truck works, go somewhere pretty, and read on!

You may have noticed that it’s not that hard to get your mates into driving off-road. Mud, snags, bad banter… yup, they’ll be there. Before you know it you’ve built up an unofficial 4WD club and there’s a drive planned every weekend. 

But the wife* may not be so keen on this lifestyle. The wheel lifts and bog holes, the endless dirty laundry, the constant bearing replacements – it can be a hobby more difficult to get the lady involved in.

(*Totally necessary disclaimer: Some wives are just born badass and this chat is not necessarily for them. Please replace wife with partner, husband, kid or best friend as required!)

If your other half is dubious about the amount of time (or money!) spent on four-wheeling, put some real effort in getting her hooked on it as well. In my experience, most skeptics are easily converted once they’ve gotten a good drive or two behind them. 

Consider a few simple tips for getting your lady into the truck and enjoying the drive.  

 

Tip 1: Explain the purpose of the things

Our 4WD life started as many, with a relatively stock but capable 4WD. Over the years it evolved: recovery points, wheel size up, mud tyres, stiffer suspension, winch… and so many bearings. It’s always a bearing!

Learning the purpose of the truck mods was super helpful in building trust in the vehicle and in our ability to get out of a sticky situation. For instance, the female in your life will probably understand the winch, but you might have to show her how airing down makes the tyres stick to the ground better, or how the snatch strap is going to get her out of a failed river crossing.

And what about all that stuff that you lug around everywhere? Straps and hooks and spiky surfboards? It is all quite overwhelming to the novice eye. Knowing that your bulky bits and bobs will keep us from getting stuck in the sand, will help us get towed out of a swamp; that information is key in appreciating how capable you really are.

Essentially, there are tools for the job, both part of the truck and carried by the truck. Understanding how they work and when to use them makes it all less scary. This brings us to the next point...

 

Tip 2: Demystify your truck’s 4WD capabilities 

What are all those gears and buttons? Her VW Golf doesn’t have them! I’ll admit, it took more than one trip out for me to understand the many options in our 1993 Mitsi Paj. Central diff? Rear diff? Low range? What now?

With a lot of patience and repetition, I was taught the gear ranges and purpose for each, and now I find myself questioning the (far more talented) driver on his choices. Explaining how the truck works is key, because logic makes things less intimidating. 

So, our first two points are all about explaining the truck’s abilities and accoutrements. A big reason four-wheeling doesn’t appeal to many is fear – of getting stuck or worse, getting hurt. But there is a tool for just about anything that would be causing anxiety. So show her the kit and explain it all!

Steep up? Diff lock! Steep down? Low range! Big river crossing? Snorkel! Scary rocks? Air down, low range.

 

Tip 3: Take her along… but don’t hit the big lines first time out

Tell her where you’re driving and why. Besides her understanding of the truck itself, it will boost her confidence to understand why you are choosing your lines. Have her hop out and be a spotter. Conditions usually look less scary from the outside, so have her guide you and she will then see that the rut she’s so worked up about is barely a crack in the ground. Show her the basic capabilities of the vehicle and boost her confidence – in the truck and in YOU!

A common mistake may be the urge to show off. Save this for your mates who are happy to help you winch the truck back upright. If she’s traumatised, she’s going to funnel future cash into the house reno instead of a lightbar. 

And for goodness sake, go drive somewhere nice!

 

Tip 4: Encourage  her to drive

This is so important! Get her in the driver’s seat. Too many ladies out there are fearful of breaking the truck – as if they would do something you wouldn’t do! 

A shorter drive will be less intimidating, so keep her first drive local or let her captain a slightly easier section of a trip. Incorporate as many skills as possible. The more terrain she is exposed to, the more self-assured she will become. Plus, you never know when you might need her. A sprained ankle or undercooked sausie could mean an incapacitated driver – and you both want her to have the confidence to step up! 

 

Tip 5: Watch YouTube videos (together!)

You might need to pour her a decent sized wine for this – but stick with me here. If your lady can see some gnarly driving from the safety of the couch, she will feel less intimidated by your driving. Find a show with a similar vehicle, so she can see the incredible limits of skills such a big lean or a really deep water crossing.

 

Tip 6: Make a weekend of it.

Lastly, not every trip has to be about beers and the boys. There are some magical places in New Zealand accessible by 4WD. Cook her a proper camp dinner and show her what makes getting away from it all so special. If she’s the type of lady who can appreciate sleeping under the stars, then she’s probably also the kind who can learn about locking hubs and rooftop tents.  

I’m here as living proof that the other half can be persuaded, and even a handy part of the 4WD team. (In our 4WD chat room my handle is “The Voice of Reason”. An essential role!) It took some time for me to catch the off-road bug, but it absolutely can be done and now I love helping the newcomers embrace 4X4 life. 

To which end I’d love nothing more than to see more women behind the wheel: let’s get those ladies out there! ϑ

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